Like the voices in my head
These days I feel sedated.
Those on msn would probably notice my new nick.."My new mantra is whatever"
Well it is. And it kinda works. I hardly get angry anymore. I try to see the better of situations or comments..something I never did before.. or more like I didnt get the chance to, cus Miss I'M SO GOING TO PUNCH YOUR FACE IN takes over. Not that I want her to leave..Just that I think she should just take a break for a while. You know? Like go sight seeing or take yoga classes or something..you catch my drift.
My boyfriend says he likes the new me. So cheerful, so calm, so happy. Happy...Who really is happy? Happy is for kids. I don't remember happy. I lost that long ago when I had to grow up. And why did I have to? Because everyone told me to. And what right do they have to tell me how to live my life? Oh yeah I forgot. I was the kid and they, the adults. They're jealous you know, these adults. Jealous of what they don't have anymore. So they start making up these f**king rules. "This! Missy! Is how you should act when you're an adult!" Act. Yup. Act. We're all actors. Every stinking one of us. We wear shrouds over our faces to cover up what's dead. And with every bloody passing day the shroud gets thicker and thicker, clouding our vision, our senses til we don't even know where to go or what to do or what's in front of us and then my dear pathetic readers, we begin the rite of passage like everyone before us and before them. We follow the lead.
We follow the lead and lose ourselves in the process. No shape, no history, no belonging. We follow rituals, beliefs, habits, the works, everything passed on like a joint from one junkie to another. One massive black hole sucking everything in. All of us blindly marching down the same road to our end. And those we leave behind follow our example.
Religion has nothing to do with this. The only mistake it ever made was trying to define wrong and right. Who is the punisher? The one who think he's done nothing wrong? Or the one who who tries to make things right? We'll never know will we? Because each one thinks they have the right to do what is right. So begins the cycle. The pattern in which we rule and justify our actions. Everything leading to nothing.
Like the voices in my head. Talking, reasoning, telling me what to do. They go on for hours, in the dark, crashing against my skull. Until I finally fall asleep. But there's always tomorrow. Like I said, my dear pathetic readers..
Everything leading to nothing, like the voices in my head.
Those on msn would probably notice my new nick.."My new mantra is whatever"
Well it is. And it kinda works. I hardly get angry anymore. I try to see the better of situations or comments..something I never did before.. or more like I didnt get the chance to, cus Miss I'M SO GOING TO PUNCH YOUR FACE IN takes over. Not that I want her to leave..Just that I think she should just take a break for a while. You know? Like go sight seeing or take yoga classes or something..you catch my drift.
My boyfriend says he likes the new me. So cheerful, so calm, so happy. Happy...Who really is happy? Happy is for kids. I don't remember happy. I lost that long ago when I had to grow up. And why did I have to? Because everyone told me to. And what right do they have to tell me how to live my life? Oh yeah I forgot. I was the kid and they, the adults. They're jealous you know, these adults. Jealous of what they don't have anymore. So they start making up these f**king rules. "This! Missy! Is how you should act when you're an adult!" Act. Yup. Act. We're all actors. Every stinking one of us. We wear shrouds over our faces to cover up what's dead. And with every bloody passing day the shroud gets thicker and thicker, clouding our vision, our senses til we don't even know where to go or what to do or what's in front of us and then my dear pathetic readers, we begin the rite of passage like everyone before us and before them. We follow the lead.
We follow the lead and lose ourselves in the process. No shape, no history, no belonging. We follow rituals, beliefs, habits, the works, everything passed on like a joint from one junkie to another. One massive black hole sucking everything in. All of us blindly marching down the same road to our end. And those we leave behind follow our example.
Religion has nothing to do with this. The only mistake it ever made was trying to define wrong and right. Who is the punisher? The one who think he's done nothing wrong? Or the one who who tries to make things right? We'll never know will we? Because each one thinks they have the right to do what is right. So begins the cycle. The pattern in which we rule and justify our actions. Everything leading to nothing.
Like the voices in my head. Talking, reasoning, telling me what to do. They go on for hours, in the dark, crashing against my skull. Until I finally fall asleep. But there's always tomorrow. Like I said, my dear pathetic readers..
Everything leading to nothing, like the voices in my head.
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